Satire? I Think Not!
DemonSpawn
Date:
27/04/2005
Well, since I decided to try my hand at satire, I've begun to think differently about the world. I mean, satire is taking an issue, and sending it up, in a hilarious way. Now, it may sound difficult, but it's a hell of an understatement to rate it that way when you actually attempt it in person. Especially if you look at it this way:
We have an issue with America. Except it's not quite satire material, because the issue can't really get more ridiculous than it already is. The biggest, most powerful superpower on Earth, with their own special range of prescription weapons for mass annihilation, is being led by a religious fanatic, with shit for brains and an annoying habit of turning bad phrases each time he opens mouth to speak.
We have an issue with a dude called Vice-Chancellor Makgoba, the supposed driving force behind the excellency that is not our newly-merged University. He doesn't seem particularly religious, but has this frustrating tendency towards faux pas of the most embarrasing type. Mostly along the lines of describing his brethren in the popular apartheid-era terms of baboons. Methinks the heady smell of power hath addled his sensibilities overmuch.
We have an issue with the Middle-East, who mostly seem to be religious fanatics, although less inclined towards faulty sentence construction, because they usually don't bother to use English that often. They either kill Americans, or more often these days, each other. The Israeli's are sitting on the West Bank going, “But Britain gave it to us!” While the Palestinians are going, “We need somewhere to live, assholes! Everywhere else is taken!” And Blaire et al sit in their chairs in the UK going, “What time is tea?” (Meaning supper).
But the most ridiculous thing that can't possibly be translated into satire, because it's just way over the top already, is the fact that Mbeki's dear old pal and fellow student of The Uprising, Mugabe, is actually – still – alive . Could that possibly be because the poor old fellow is just misunderstood? Maybe it's that he is innocent of the terrorism he has been accused of inflicting on the population of Zimbabwe. I mean, he can't possibly let his wife actually go shopping IN SANDTON, of all places, when this devoted and diligent leader of the people can see that the rest of his country are all starving to death, his economy is almost non-existent, and he has HORSE-DRAWN ambulances travelling around on the streets because petrol is so impossibly expensive! We had all safely assumed that Absolutism had come to an end in the world, right?
WRONG. I think it's just that not one single member of our, or any other, Black African government has the balls to stand up and say that this asshole, Mugabe, is wrong, and needs to be dealt with.
WHY? Because they are all under the impression that it's still deepest darkest colonial Africa, and that the White man is still the enemy. They couldn't bear to consider the possibility that maybe one of their own 'kind', (whatever that is), could be wrong. They couldn't bear the consideration that they should turn around to one of 'their own', (whatever that means), and question his leadership.
But the question I have for anyone else in this world, which evades my attempts at satire, is this:
Why, in this world, is there no-one else who gives enough of a damn to stand against these people, when the fate of so many innocents hangs on their unstable whim?
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