Yuletide Story

DemonSpawn

Date:
24/12/2004

The night was quiet and still and dark
And snowflakes were falling outside
The eve of the day that marked the feast
Which we sometimes call Yuletide

It was on the whole an ordinary night
Except for one detail you see
Unknown to us all this was the night
That Santa would light up the tree.

As we recall it was quiet and dark
And just about half-past ten
When all of a sudden without any warning
A shout came out from the den

You see, smooth as a mouse, Santa had snuck
Onto the roof and into the chimney
And Dad was there in the den in his chair
Having a late-night brandy

But this is one clue as you may have seen
That old age had caught up with Big Red
Because he had forgot that Dad always likes
A warm fire before going to bed.

So down Santa slipped and into the flue
With all his presents for us
And on landing he found it indeed rather warm
Which caused him a terrible fuss.

The flames didn't catch on his boots or his bum
But his beard that was down to his knees
Was so fine and silky and well-washed and combed
That it caught with the greatest of ease.

He burst from the hearth with the loudest of roars
That woke Mom and shook all the frames
And batted and flapped, quite nimbly round,
Cursing Winter, or so Dad still claims.

And so Dad got up, took the matter in hand
And calmly doused Santa with sherry
It would have gone well, but then Santa trod on
A light which was shaped like a berry.

Santa went sprawling, along with Dad's drink
And got tangled up all the more
But as he struggled to get to his feet
The drink spilled onto the floor

It ran down the cord that went to the plug
That powered all of the lights
And just as Dad stretched his hand out to help
Santa got quite a big fright

He clung to the tree and gave a big grin
And his face got even more rosy
His suit and his cheeks glowed, and so did his teeth
And the bulbs shone even more fiercely

Dad leaped the the rescue as Dads will do
And managed to trip the circuit
As he left Dad says that he muttered
Something about sherry not biscuits

So this is the story Dad tells in the den
While the fire is warm and sprightly
He still solemnly swears that this is why
The lights on the tree glow so brightly.

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