unRain Dance

Coolmac

Date:
02/12/2004

Whilst popular culture would have you believe that rain dances were something entirely unique to Native American tribes, this is not the case. Even ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs show what historians agree to be rain dance rituals. Of course this isn't limited only to rain. Throughout history people from cultures around the world have performed rituals for any number of things. Whilst these rituals are performed to any number of different gods, the people always believe that they work, and there are almost always a veritable plethora of folk tales praising their success.

Now I struggle to believe in one god (okay I don't even manage to believe in one) let alone many, and to somehow think that all these religions and cultures are right about their beliefs isn't really feasible, since pretty much all of them firmly believe that all other beliefs are wrong; and if they're wrong in that, they are probably wrong in a lot of other ways. And if one of them is not wrong, then that means most of the world is lying or delusional (a valid theory in itself). Either way, I hope you can see what I mean. I can't see how they are all correct, so I am quite happy to believe that the reverse, is in fact, the case.

What if the folk tales of these rituals success were not entirely incorrect, just incorrect in the assumption that the result was because of some higher being? It is not an unheard of theory that belief itself, when found in enough strength, can make things happen. There are many verified cases of people with extreme willpower managing to do almost unimaginable feats. And while the vast majority of the ravaging hordes that inhabit this plant do not even remotely have this ability, when enough of them fervently believe something should or will happen, it often seems to.

Where am I going with all this? Well, down here in South Africa, we have quite the dry climate, and the country has in the last year or so been suffering from a bit of a drought. It starts to rain, and then the clouds disappear, leaving the ground dry, as though it hadn't rained at all.

Well the other night the rain started to come down quite fast and DemonSpawn and myself happened to be driving in it, after going off on a quest that is better left told another day. I was thinking how nice it was. Yes its wet, but its also cool, and the smell of rain is a most wonderful thing. When it rains, I sleep soundly. When it rains, I feel good. Then DemonSpawn says, “I hope it clears up by tomorrow!!!”

Now the extra exclamation marks there are needed. Let me tell you why; if you have read many of DemonSpawns columns or poems, you may have well picked up that she rides a motorbike. Now bikers are a funny breed, they will proclaim the wonders of riding a bike, the freedom, the exhilaration. They constantly mention how traffic isn't a problem for them, and they have this air about them: car drivers are land hugging herd animals, and they are the eagles that soar through the air. Mention the weather, and they'll go one about how they don't care, and the cold just makes them go faster.

Then occasionally, the weather steps in, the clouds form and you see a change. Their eye's get an almost feral look. They start to talk with exclamations, you can see the tension, but they're pretending its not there. And every single last one of them is saying to themselves, “I hope the weather clears up by tomorrow!!!”

What we have here is an evil conspiracy, a silent, unseen, unrain dance. It happens all around us, and the results are obvious. With all the trouble in the Middle East, fuel prices have skyrocketed; and this has, in turn, driven many to buy a bike due to their fuel efficiency. Decades back, bikes were less reliable, not as fast, not nearly as cool, and a whole lot less common on the roads. Now they are everywhere, and we are seeing the results. Some might blame global warming, but not I.

I know the true reason. |