The Twilight Zone
DemonSpawn
Date:
02/12/2004
Well, exams are over and now I have a long stretch ahead of me filled with nothing but sun, sand, and... work. Yes, indeed. Now, there are probably few of you who are old enough to remember the TV series “The Twilight Zone” and still have not yet had the pleasure of the “'Workplace”. I will explain.
“The Twilight Zone” was a freaky horror / sci-fi series that scared the crap out of kids like me because the concept most of the episodes were based on was that the worst and most awful shit could happen to an everyday person in a really normal setting.
The “Workplace” is still an experience loosely based on reality which scares the crap out of adults like me because the concept of most days includes the worst and most awful shit that could happen to an everyday person in a really normal job.
Most days, you will find elements of “The Twilight Zone” in the “Workplace”.
In every field, it happens. You will be working, if not happily then at least steadily, through the day, when at some point, you realise that a small incident has taken place in your office which has caused the most bizarre and chaotic situation, which is apparently your fault. Even though you were no where near the site of the incident at the time. And you are now expected to fix it.
For example, I'm in my office, calmly and steadily, if not happily, getting through some stuff that has to be done, when someone from the next office bursts through the door screaming, “You need to write this report to disk right now! We need it urgently!” Slams a disk onto my desk and stalks out.
So, the disk is blank. When I go into the other office to ask what report I'm supposed to copy and where the original is saved, I get blank looks from everyone before they go back to what they were doing. Like no-one, not even the person who came into my office, has any recollection of the last five minutes. It's what I call a 'Twilight Zone Moment'.
The next 'Moment' comes when I have finally located the file after many interrogations, only to find that they still – note the use of the word 'STILL' – yes, they still have not installed the software to write cd's after the last IT guy happened to erase it.
So I explain for the five hundred and sixty third time that if they want to write cd's they have to get the disk with the program that makes the cd-writer work and go clicky-clicky on the box that says 'Install'. Once again, I'm hit by a wall of vacant stares Followed by, “But it has to be done right now!”
At which point I walk outside for a smoke.
Some ignorant dicks think that people become academics because they can't face the real world. I think people become academics because they have been in the real world and decided it's much saner back on campus. I don't think they ever did an episode of “The Twilight Zone” in a Varsity setting. Makes you think, doesn't it?
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