Beat the Rich

DemonSpawn

Date:
24/09/2007

Is it just in my town, or do people everywhere drive like fuckwits when it rains?

Life is dangerous these days. That is a well-known and -documented fact. BUT then you get some morons on the road that just improve everyone's chances of ending up in a bodybag before their times.

You get the wankers in OPEC-friendly SUVs, who can't bear the thought of driving in one lane only, so they simply have to stop at the robot with two wheels in the centre of one lane, and two wheels in the centre of the other lane. That's because the fuckers were under the impression that the extra lane came free with the license when they bought it.
Most of the time, said wankers are really housewives, who have no clue where their car is on the road, and couldn't really give a shit, in any case. I mean, if she had an accident, all she has to do is call hubby, and he'll sort it all out. No problem, Right? And in the mean time, when I'm on the road, I can multitask: touch up my lipstick, apply mascara, chat on my cellphone, watch a DVD...

Of course, there's also the cuntmuppets in their Merc's, Beemers and Audi's, who stop at a robot, and then slowly edge their way into the middle of the intersecting lanes, whilst waiting for the light to change. Sometimes, there's only one, and he'll do it at his own pace, but occassionally there are two, side by side. Then, you get a "my dick is bigger than yours" scenario, where one edges forward, and the other edges forward just a little bit more, and so the other one edges forward just a little more, and so it goes on. Then they stop in the middle of the intersection and wait for the robot to go green.
AND WHAT'S MORE, if there's only one in front, he'll take a good ten seconds to actually get moving once the light has changed. As if he knew he wouldn't start moving in time, so he had to get that bit of head start while the going was good...

A friend of mine told me a story about some kid who drove his car down the bank and nearly into the wall of the house they were staying at, a couple of nights ago. He was completely shitfaced, and (surprise, surprise) on a warning for drunk driving already. Apparently the brat called his parents to come and pay the cops off so they didn't take him in, after he tried to flee the scene and got caught. THEN he had the cheek to shit on mummy and daddy for taking so long to get there. So he strolled out of that tricky situation and will thus drive another day, and will probably have to kill someone before he gets locked up.
Well done, mummy and daddy for a) raising such a shining pillar of morality for us to live with and b) providing that example to show him that if you have money, you really can get away with anything.

I think Aerosmith got it wrong. It should be "BEAT THE RICH" with a big fuckin' bat, on the car bonnet,  (or better yet, over the head), every time you see them being pricks just because they can afford to.
We should sell bumper stickers in day-glo yellow and pink, with a special glue that bonds to the paintwork of the car, saying "I AM A WANKER". You can stick these to the bumpers of the cars that don't indicate, or cut you off , or pull out in front of you, right after they make eye contact, or park in handicapped zones (maybe for that instance, we can do a sticker saying "IT'S A MIRACLE!"), or do other asshole stuff brought about by that arrogant attitude of belief summed up by saying, "So what? Sue me."

No, asshole. I won't sue you. That would be way too easy for you. But here. Have this nifty little kitch-coloured bumper sticker that will destroy your paint job if you try to remove it. Now see how you pocket can handle a few of those each week.

Hah!






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