Interview With a Dealer
DemonSpawn
Date:
05/07/2005
Okay, so this is an encounter that I really had whilst doing this crappy job, which entails interviewing people for a survey on the council's services. As some extra background information, you should know that most people will not open their gates for strangers, especially those who want to record their opinion on the way things are going in their suburb, although they are quite happy to bitch ineffectually to their friends. This is a fact that I've just recently learned.
So this is what happened during one of the few times that someone did not say, “Not interested”, or “I work really hard and I don't have time”, and slammed the door. My thoughts are in italics, for those illiterate cretins who have no clue.
I'm dressed to the hilt in company colours: shirt, ID tag, and bag complete with company logo. Please note: this means I have to be nice.
So there's no door bell, and I stand outside the gate while the dogs are going crazy, and shout for anyone who's home. Someone comes out.
“Hi, I'm doing a survey to find out the residents' opinion on the Council's services and how they affect your quality of life. Would you have some time to answer some questions for me?”
She says, “Yes, come on in.”
So I go into the house, which is quite cool, actually. We sit down, I get out my booklet and start writing address and phone number.
She says, “I just noticed your ring. How lovely. Is that a star of David?”
No you fucking moron, it's a pentacle. And I bet when I tell you that, I won't get my survey filled out.
“Actually, it's called a pentacle,” smiling.
“And what does that mean for you?” smiling.
“It's a symbol of my faith,” smiling.
“And what is your faith?”
Here it comes.
“I'm a pagan,” smiling.
“And what does that symbol do for you? I mean, what significance does it have?”
“Well, -”
“Do you believe in God? Do you believe in an almighty creator?” smiling.
Do we really have to do this? Can't you just kick me out?
“Yes, in a manner of speaking. You see, I deviated from the whole Wiccan thing because it seems still too man-made. Most religions are man-made, including Christianity. I take my lessons from Nature herself. That's the creative force I believe in,” smiling.
Take that.
“So you believe in an almighty god. Do you know that Christ is the only way into Heaven? Where do you think you will go when you die?”
Okay, so she has bull terrier in her family. That's no reason to discriminate. I mean, we all have our dirty little secrets, right? Please kick me out!
“I believe that we are made of energy, and according to scientific proof, energy cannot dissappear, it simply changes form,” smiling.
“Do you know that when you die, the only way you will get to Heaven is through Christ? He is the truth. Only him,” smiling.
Spare me! Angel of Death come take me now before I have to do this any more!
“Well, I'm more of the opinion that everyone's reality is their own, and so we make it as we choose.”
Pause. She looks lost.
What? No comeback? Let's see if you know how to think beyond the dogma they vomit at you in church...
“You see, it's like there's this guy called Kant who theorised that empirical reality is what is actually there, but how people perceive it differs according to what they have brought with them to the encounter in terms of life experience, socialisation, and their own values,” smiling more.
She looks puzzled.
Sorry Doc, looks like the EEG's flatline. No, wait...
“But you do realise that Christ is the truth. He's the only way to Heaven,” smiling again.
No, false alarm.
“Well, I like to think that everyone has a choice. In everything they do, and what they believe in is part of that,” smiling.
“Yes. That's true. You always have a choice. It's up to you to choose the right path!”
You fucking stupid, arrogant, brainwashed sheep! How many years did it take for them to teach you how to argue so badly? Or is it a natural skill?
“Well, I've chosen mine, and I'm very much at peace with myself and my choice,” smiling a lot.
“I'm glad you came here today. I hope you remember that you always have a choice. I think that's why I let you in.”
That and maybe so you could do that saving thing the way they tell you to, and you know I can't officially tell you to fuck off- nothing better than a captive audience, huh?.
“Yes, I'm certain I am getting something out of this, and I'll remember every word of our discussion. So, are we going to do this survey?”
And that, gentle reader, is why a)I am NEVER going to this job again, and b)I have such a negative respect for Christians.
They're on a par with those guys that hang out at the schools and hook little kids on Acid.
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